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It is not just pride it is also culture,. Some warrior cultures would never let their comrades fight alone, and would never ask their friends to stand-back,; the Soul Society is all about one-on-one prowess, note how the Captains tend to be the strongest members of their squads this would not be true if teamwork was highly valued.
Yeah... I don't agree with Captain Ukitake saying they shouldn't help Kaien. It was one thing to let him fight alone at first, he is a Lieutenant so he's very strong after all. But after his Zanpakuto was unexpectedly destroyed, he had already lost and they should have immediately stepped in. I agree with Rukia when she said "What use is pride to a dead man?".
And Rukia being self-deprecating makes sense considering what she has been through. She was originally from the slums where she was treated like dirt, then she was adopted into the Kuchiki family. She was treated poorly by many because many normal soul reapers dislike the special treatment the Noble houses receive. She was treated like trash her entire life by others, even mistreated by her own brother. Then she meets Ganju who blames her for the death of Kaien directly to her face. Those kinds of things can damage your self-worth. Kaien and Squad 13 were the ones that she felt so grateful to because they gave her happiness and a place to belong, so she feels like her inability to save Kaien was unforgivable, and a result of her own weakness.
And Rukia being self-deprecating makes sense considering what she has been through. She was originally from the slums where she was treated like dirt, then she was adopted into the Kuchiki family. She was treated poorly by many because many normal soul reapers dislike the special treatment the Noble houses receive. She was treated like trash her entire life by others, even mistreated by her own brother. Then she meets Ganju who blames her for the death of Kaien directly to her face. Those kinds of things can damage your self-worth. Kaien and Squad 13 were the ones that she felt so grateful to because they gave her happiness and a place to belong, so she feels like her inability to save Kaien was unforgivable, and a result of her own weakness.
If they had jumped into help it would mean Kaien failed to restore the honour of his wife and the people she killed
Kaien would have to live the rest of his life knowing he failed while watching as people talked shit about his wife for killing her own subordinates and talked shit about the subordinates for not stopping her. He would have had to live knowing that if only he had killed that hollow himself, his wife and subordinates would be remembered as warriors who died honourably in battle instead. Ukitake knew living like that would break Kaien mentally and physically, so he stopped himself and Rukia from getting involved until it was their responsibility
This way Kaien was allowed to take on all the dishonour himself, so no one would badmouth the squad or Captain Ukitake, and he got to die fighting for the honour of his wife, his squad, and himself
That’s why Ukitake says there are fights to protect life and fights to protect honour. Kaien’s life would have been a fate worse than death if he failed
Kaien would have to live the rest of his life knowing he failed while watching as people talked shit about his wife for killing her own subordinates and talked shit about the subordinates for not stopping her. He would have had to live knowing that if only he had killed that hollow himself, his wife and subordinates would be remembered as warriors who died honourably in battle instead. Ukitake knew living like that would break Kaien mentally and physically, so he stopped himself and Rukia from getting involved until it was their responsibility
This way Kaien was allowed to take on all the dishonour himself, so no one would badmouth the squad or Captain Ukitake, and he got to die fighting for the honour of his wife, his squad, and himself
That’s why Ukitake says there are fights to protect life and fights to protect honour. Kaien’s life would have been a fate worse than death if he failed
As her husband and superior the responsibility of restoring the honour of Miyako and the people she killed fell to Kaien. The only way for his wife and the people she killed to be remembered as warriors who died honourably was to kill the Hollow himself. The reason he asked to fight alone is because asking for help especially from a superior when it was his responsibility, and if someone he asked to help died or got injured it would dishonour him. That in turn would mean Miyako and the people she killed didn’t die honourably or dishonourably they died less than honourably. That means they wouldn’t be remembered at all and people would deliberately try to forget them and the incident itself never mentioning either again
Both Kaien and Ukitake understood the situation and what it meant, Rukia however being from the Rukon district did not. As a sick Captain who gave his responsibilities to Kaien, Ukitake could have taken on the responsibility of restoring everyone’s honour himself. This would have allowed for the squad to work together to defeat the hollow, which is what he tried to do by telling Kaien to wait and not go after the hollow just yet
However Kaien knew what Ukitake was doing and wanted to end his wife’s suffering as quickly as possible without dishonouring anyone else. He deliberately asked Ukitake for permission to fight it alone because he knew it would mean any dishonour would fall squarely on him and no one else. When Rukia asked to go help Kaien fight the Hollow after his Zanpakuto was destroyed Ukitake stopped her because if they jumped into help it would mean Kaien failed to restore the Honour of his wife and the people she killed. Yes Kaien would probably still be alive, but he would have to live the rest of his life knowing he failed to restore the honour of his wife and subordinates while watching as people talked shit about them
Ukitake knew if that happened it would break Kaien mentally and physically so he stopped himself and Rukia from getting involved until Kaien was defeated and the responsibility fell to them
This incident and the failure of both Kaien and his wife seriously dishonoured the Shiba family name, which is why when Byakuya learned Ganju’s last name he apologised for letting him live and would kill him instead because he was a member of the Shiba clan
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