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So, the reason Rukia yelled at Ichigo to leave wasn't really anything to do with her having accepted her execution and death. If you recall, back in the world of the living she had told Ichigo she would never forgive him if he came after her. That was before she was even sentenced to death. That time, and this time it was both because she cares deeply about Ichigo and does not want him to be killed trying to rescue her. It's not that she doesn't want to live. She wants to live very badly (as you can see by her crying before she was going to die), but she prioritizes Ichigo's life above her own.
Rukia is very selfless, she would rather die than have someone she cares about attempt a suicide mission to try to rescue her. And let's be clear, it WAS a suicide mission. Ordinarily, Ichigo would have been swatted like a bug trying to rescue her, it should have been a 100% chance of death with no possibility of success. It was only through a combination of luck and his near-impossible level of growth (aka achieving Bankai) that he had a chance to succeed in saving her. So don't hold it against Rukia, it's actually a testament to her kindness and love for her friends that she yelled at him to leave.
Rukia is very selfless, she would rather die than have someone she cares about attempt a suicide mission to try to rescue her. And let's be clear, it WAS a suicide mission. Ordinarily, Ichigo would have been swatted like a bug trying to rescue her, it should have been a 100% chance of death with no possibility of success. It was only through a combination of luck and his near-impossible level of growth (aka achieving Bankai) that he had a chance to succeed in saving her. So don't hold it against Rukia, it's actually a testament to her kindness and love for her friends that she yelled at him to leave.
Also, the main reason she was happier to see Renji than Ichigo was because she thought Renji was dead lol. His spirit energy had been weak and fading. He was barely alive and would have died without Unohana bandaging him up.
Last time she had seen Ichigo he had escaped safely with Yoruichi with his life not in immediate danger. She had also realized by this point that no amount of yelling was going to prevent those two from trying to save her. Might as well give up and let them try.
Last time she had seen Ichigo he had escaped safely with Yoruichi with his life not in immediate danger. She had also realized by this point that no amount of yelling was going to prevent those two from trying to save her. Might as well give up and let them try.
I understand how it feels to accept death. I had accepted suicide last year because of my depression and anxiety and everything else going on.. I accepted to give up. I couldn't handle everything going on with me and the Navy and being so far away from a loved one it was way too much. Holidays approaching... I didnt want to go through another holiday alone again. Since I am able to be writing this you can see I didn't go through with the suicide. But I have been in a constant shock and can't feel correctly towards things because why should I when I was just ready to quit. It was the only peace I had and still have cause it was the only thing I had control over. Even now I feel forced to care and my life has been a huge struggle to want to even do better. So I totally understand how Rukia is feeling. If not for my friends and gaming I'd probably be a homeless Veteran or dead right now on Veterans day.
I'm sorry to hear that. Don't give up! I know that feeling all too well. Do not be ashamed that you felt that way, you are not alone. So many people struggle with these feelings. Focus on the good parts of your life, and realize that you can definitely be happy it just might take some time and effort. I would highly recommend to at least give therapy a try (if it's available to you), you would be surprised how much it helps to have someone to talk to. Especially someone who can give you helpful suggestions. I know therapy does not seem desirable to some, but it really can make a huge difference. It helps a lot to just have someone to talk to about it, don't keep it locked up in your head. If therapy is not possible, try opening up to your family or friends about it. Remember that your life is precious, to you and to others. Don't throw it away no matter what, things can change for the better!
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